Facebook breakups

We were at Scotchie’s the other day with some friends. As is now customary in discussing our relationships, the topic of social media came up.

It is almost laughable how social media has become symbiotic with our closest relationships. We have personally seen people come together and then fall apart on Facebook’s “Wall to Wall” application.

It starts with snide comments, the ‘throwing’ of words. Then the “no longer in a relationship” status, is followed by the removal of the lovey dovey Profile pic, and the untagging/deletion of all joint photos. The inevitable Grand Finale is the “You Bastard” note (tagged to everyone including the ex’s granny).

Not unique to the region, the Facebook breakup broadcast has become a worldwide epidemic. A man in Australia was recently arrested for a cyber stalking spree in which he hijacked his ex’s Facebook account and then posted nude photos of her.

But Facebook isn’t just for crazy singles! Recently a New Jersey pastor got international press for advising married members of his congregation to stay away from Facebook, and we can’t say that we entirely disagree with him. Married couples now give each other a ring, their heart, and their Facebook password; though this will not deter the determined philanderer who will often set up a secret account for clandestine purposes.

It has gotten to a point where a non-Blackberry user cannot maintain a relationship with a BB user. That’s right we said it: If your partner is on Facebook or BBM and you’re not, chances are you are about to get a wicked cyber “foot bruckin.” Even if you call your boo at all times of day and night you are no match for the one who is “Pinging” them 24/7(pun intended).

Social media is an excellent business and marketing tool but it is not the platform for private things to be played out. If your every changing mood is posted on your BB status, every fight on Twitter, and each dramatic argument is essentially published on Facebook, you are opening up your problems to an unforgiving public. The action is tantamount to a schoolyard fight, when teenagers call on their friends to stand behind them for backup. Right or wrong the one with the most people behind them wins.

People who do this are often under the impression that they are communicating with their partner when in reality they are merely broadcasting all their weaknesses, before they have a chance to repair them.

In giving air to our private and most times passing thoughts we allow those around us to have the impression that they know us well, and opening ourselves to unwanted opinions. Many times when the couple in question have already worked things out, the penny section becomes a massive forum set against the success of what they now see as the dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship of their “friend.”

Back in the day we used to wonder why celebrities hid their relationships. So you’re dating Brad Pitt? Why not say so? But with BBM, Twitter and Facebook we have experienced what I can only describe as paparazzi pressure.

While being grilled by Chelsea Handler on his relationship with songstress Ashanti, Rapper Nelly said he didn’t respond to questions about his relationship because “ people get thrust into stuff and then  society forces things together but when it doesn’t work out society doesn’t take responsibility for it.” Substitute “Facebook” for “society” and you’ll get the point.

Meanwhile, Facebook, Twitter, and BB are here to stay. So it’s high time we followed an etiquette that allows us to text our Spoogie without the stress. #MiDunTalk